


Peace Conference

by BlackjackGabbiani



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Diamond & Pearl & Platinum | Pokemon Diamond Pearl Platinum Versions
Genre: Gen, Humor, postgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 18:11:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8543770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackjackGabbiani/pseuds/BlackjackGabbiani
Summary: Mars drags Cyrus back to an angry Saturn, and then Dawn shows up.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this fanart](http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=21982781).

“Look,” Saturn groaned, already tired of putting up with their collective bullshit even though it had only been about an hour since Cyrus had wandered back to base with Mars in tow and about half an hour since Dawn had shown up with an egg in her arms prepared to run circles around the younger man as she so often did to hatch her latest bounty, “I’m sick to death of the mess you both cause. It’s ridiculous.”

Mars huffed indignantly. “You’re just sour because you weren’t invited to the new universe and we were!”

That vein behind Saturn’s eyes was beginning to hurt again. His impulse was to shout _you idiot you can’t be ok with the idea of wiping out everything in the universe because one douchebag is afraid of his own emotions_ but figured that would be counterproductive. He rubbed at the bridge of his nose. “Mars, go hang out in the media room or something. I’ll let you order a pizza too. Just…I have to talk to these two in private.”

For a moment, the young woman looked as hostile as her namesake suggested, but it quickly turned to a smile. “If I find out that you’ve sent Master Cyrus back to that upside down world, though, I’m going to display your head on a pike and parade it through the town.” Well, perhaps the smile wasn’t the surest sign of faded hostility. But she merrily skipped away, reciting pizza toppings in a singsong breath.

“Now then! You!” and here Saturn pointed at Cyrus “have a lot of explaining to do about why you felt the need to not only hit some giant shiny universal reset button but also lie to us about your real intentions! Emotions, really? I thought we were working to get rid of suffering!”

“That is the root of my aim, yes,” Cyrus bit back. “It has been proven time and again in history t–”

“Oh just shut up! If I let you start now we’ll be here ‘till next week! And you!” this time pointing at Dawn “have been nothing but trouble! Sure you knocked this guy into a massive time-out corner, but then you come through here every day it seems, watch our TV, raid our fridge, and use my office as your own personal egg hatchery!”

She looked down at the new Piplup in her arms. “But it’s so cute! And it’s got your blue hair!”

“That you demonstrate such a massive ignorance of basic biology in mistaking feathers for hair is a–”

“DAMMIT CYRUS SHUT UP!” Saturn took a big breath, reigning in his outburst before it could grow and give Cyrus more fodder for his anti-emotion blather. “Look, I’m going to give you guys one chance before I kick you both out of here for good. Galactic Energy is my company, and we’re trying to maintain an image that’s both professional and non-omnicidal, and I can’t do either of those with you two bad elements around.” Another deep breath. “Ok, we’ve been cleaning out some of the offices.”

“That explains the mess,” Dawn muttered, looking around at the chairs dotting the lobby.

“Yes it does. Now then, what I’m gonna do,” Saturn said, taking out a pen and turning two chairs on their sides, “is put you both in a room for a little bit and let you hash things out on your own. There are to be no pokemon battles–Dawn, I’m letting you take that Piplup in out of the goodness of my heart but so help me this is a peace conference and if you use it to attack I’m going to report you to the league for conduct unbecoming a champion–no speeches lasting over three minutes, no throwing things or whatever else you’d be doing. You’re to stay in these chairs–there, see, I even wrote your names on them–and you’d better talk because I’m not letting either of you out until you can at least shake hands without showing visible disgust CYRUS I’m looking in your direction you’re not nearly as good an actor as you think you are and it’s really clear that you have emotions so stop saying you don’t.”

With that, an especially poisonous-looking Toxicroak waddled out from behind the entry desk and prodded the both of them down a hallway, into a room. Saturn followed close behind, placing the chairs just inside the doorway before slamming the door shut. “I’ll expect to hear talking!”

An hour later he peeked in. The two were sitting silently, legs and arms crossed, both demonstrating what could only be described as full-body pouts.

“…this is going to be tougher than I thought.”


End file.
